Sunday, May 8, 2011
Ross, of Tara
That is what the hospital writes on baby's name bands until they are named. I hold Sully's in my pocket. I can't write about the last afternoon of Sully's life today because I need more time to describe it as beautifully as we experienced it. We had professional photographs taken again so maybe just showing the pictures will be better. By Friday, May 6 Neil and I decided it was time to let Sully go. Someday I will write more about that too. Sincerest thanks to the all the staff caring for Sully but especially, his primary consultant Peter, surgeon Cathy, his primary nurses Billie, Olivia, Mary and Guy, and Honorah who was Sully's nurse on Friday. As we said goodbye to Honorah we told her how well she had done and she admitted it was the first time she had done it. I was really surprised, she seemed so comfortable with Sully dying and with our grief.
I have been so scared for months that Sully would die, and my biggest fear always was that he would die without me there. My second biggest fear was that I would be afraid. But I wasn't. I am sad, but not destroyed. I love being Sully's Mom, he will always be my 'of' and I will always be his place.
Posted by Tara Ross at 8:54 AM