Sunday, May 8, 2011

Ross, of Tara

That is what the hospital writes on baby's name bands until they are named. I hold Sully's in my pocket. I can't write about the last afternoon of Sully's life today because I need more time to describe it as beautifully as we experienced it. We had professional photographs taken again so maybe just showing the pictures will be better. By Friday, May 6 Neil and I decided it was time to let Sully go. Someday I will write more about that too. Sincerest thanks to the all the staff caring for Sully but especially, his primary consultant Peter, surgeon Cathy, his primary nurses Billie, Olivia, Mary and Guy, and Honorah who was Sully's nurse on Friday. As we said goodbye to Honorah we told her how well she had done and she admitted it was the first time she had done it. I was really surprised, she seemed so comfortable with Sully dying and with our grief.

I have been so scared for months that Sully would die, and my biggest fear always was that he would die without me there. My second biggest fear was that I would be afraid. But I wasn't. I am sad, but not destroyed. I love being Sully's Mom, he will always be my 'of' and I will always be his place.


  1. Tara & Neil;
    It was so good to talk to you....I wish I could be there in person for you, but alas, you have me in spirit. My heart goes out to you for your loss, but, as you said, he is at peace now.

  2. Sending you both much love

  3. Tara and Neil, sending you much love and warmth. You are both so strong. My heart goes out to you...

  4. Dear Tara and Neil,
    Our hearts' love goes out to both of you. Thank you for letting us in on this journey. We are forever touched by Sully and his beautiful little life.
    God Bless you alway,
    Lysandra, Nigel, Emma and Justin

  5. Tara and Neil,

    We are so very sorry for you loss. Thank you again for sharing this experience through this blog. Your strength and perspective has been an inspiration. Sully will always be a part of the Ross-Olders clan.

    You continue to be in our thoughts daily. Lots of love, Andrea, Doug and Jackson.

  6. Dear Tara and Neil,
    I have been deeply touched by yr insight into Sully's fight for life.We send u much love,
    Sara and Stevo xx