rollercoaster

Between weeks 22- 27 I went through a rollercoaster of emotions experiencing all the stages of grief… I managed to be positive most of the time, and was enjoying the pregnancy. I had several dreams about the baby, including one where I went looking for our baby in the nursery and found our teenager sitting there! We sort of bought baby stuff and sort of hesitated to buy too much.

When people commented on the pregnancy sometimes I think I didn't look excited enough, I felt like I was hiding something. I avoided other pregnant women. I went to a couple of yoga classes and loved the stretching but found the happy visualisations of the baby growing difficult. Our baby had organs where they shouldn't be. Instead I visualised his lungs growing and him swallowing lots of amniotic fluid to develop the lungs. I imagined his liver dropping back down through the hole in the diaphragm. I felt isolated from the other women in the class and left quickly straight after class. I focused on eating well, exercising, and enjoyed my work. I was conscious that my belly seemed bigger than it should be and my weight seemed to be skyrocketing. I had already gained 14 kilograms.